Smiling in Slow Motion by Derek Jarman

Author:Derek Jarman
Language: eng
Format: epub, pdf
Publisher: Random House

Monday 17

Side effects of Gancyclovir are: malaise (very Victorian), sore throat and nose bleeds, headache, dizziness, abdominal pain, constipation, diarrhoea, muscular twitching, cough, pruritis urticaria (itchiness), incontinence and abnormal blood levels in a few patients.

The drip is playing up, a slight move of my hand stops it.

I was stopped in Waterstone’s by a young man who took endless notes about where I shopped for books. I bought Francis Bacon’s essays and the Leyden Papyrus which I will use at the beginning of the colour book.

HB came to the hospital and we were entertained in the TV lounge by Lewis and his friend. Lewis in a wheelchair, his hair awry, munched through a packet of dry biscuits, as slow and deliberate as a praying mantis. He spoke enthusiastically but almost incoherently, because of the brain damage that has trapped him.

He complained of the noise and the cutting down of the trees for the building of the new wards. Of the London Lighthouse he said: ‘You can’t be too careful who you mix with there, there’s no way of telling the visitors, patients or staff apart. The staff have nothing to identify them except they’re all into leather, the place is like Sadie Masies’ – the SM club at the Lesbian and Gay Centre.

~

A good explanation for my tiredness is that I’m working overtime to correct the loss of sight. Blink and squint.

~

Mayday.

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